So first a little background:

At my university, every year at Homecoming each fraternity teams up with a sorority to make floats for a parade. Seems pretty normal. Well basically everyone in the parade is hammered every year and it turns into a huge shit show. My house got teamed up with Chi-O for the parade (defiantly not our first choice, or even second choice for that matter… they would have been about fourth or lower on the list). The girl who was in charge of making the float for from Chi-O is being a huge bitch to all of our pledges that are making the float (no actives are involved). Also, I should mention that this girl has very large breasts, but this is most likely due to the fact that they match her sizable gut. Before the parade, the girl is drinking heavily as would be expected and during the course of the parade falls off the float and gets partially run over by the trailer. Hence her name for the rest of eternity, “Curb Check”. (She didn’t get hurt though for all of you that care)

On to the interesting part of the story…

We are having a work session at the House which that particular evening consisted of alternating between the pledges getting worked and then cleaning. During the time they were being worked, the actives would fuck up the house in any way that we could think of, thus creating more work for the pledges during their cleaning break. Well somehow, Curb Check is able to get in the front door of the house during a clean. She walks in and is a huge mess, drunk as hell and only wearing jeans, shoes and a zip-jacket done up about ¼ to ½ of the way with no shirt on underneath. So Curb Check walks up to my friend and tries to kiss him and is telling about how much she likes him. He proceeds to grab her arm and remove her from the building. She comes back in a few minutes later, (we didn’t have a workable lock on the door) and tries to go after another friend with similar advances. She keeps saying how she knows what is going on in here (the pledges) and she doesn’t care. After she is removed a second time, this time with ever more force, I am picked to be in charge if she does happen to come back in. As someone who is not particularly a good hazer, I don’t mind this. Hey some of us are built to fuck with and tweak out on kids, others aren’t. When I see here trying to get back in I go outside and walk her down to another sorority house down the street. She is crying at this point and the girls from the other house seem me with her and assume that I have done something wrong. I explain what is going on and Curb Check demands to see her friend in the house we are now at.

After about 20-30 minutes of waiting with her, (I can’t take the chance of her coming back to our house) her friend finally comes out and they talk for a little bit. They decide that I should walk her home, which I agree to do. On the way home she is blabbing about this and that and all I can think about is how to get this drunk, topless, ugly-ass girl home without anyone I know seeing me. Oh yeah, she made me feel her boobs more times that I care to count or remember. One thing I thought she said that was particularly funny was that her grandmother always taught her that men should walk on the outside of women (the side closer to the street) when walking down the side walk. She made me do this for about a block and then abruptly made me switch sides. Kinda odd, but she was hammered and ugly, so I didn’t want to take this time to ask many questions. We see a few deer on the way back to her house and I know at this point that I am going to have to deal with this girl for longer that just dropping her off. She tries to kiss me several times and from there I know it’s over.

We get back to her house and she takes me inside and we make out for maybe 20 minutes (hey I hadn’t gotten any in a while, give me a break). Another of her sorority sisters is also making out with a guy in the living room pretty much right next to us.

She then leads me downstairs because it is against Chi-O rules for guys to go upstairs. (I think this has to do with Ted Bundy and his killings at the University of Florida Chi-O house). She sits me down on a couch and then proceeds to give me a very drunken and almost painful blowjob. As soon as I am finished, I stand up and she sits on the couch. I think that she was assuming that I would reciprocate. There was noooooo way in hell that this was going to happen. I walked back upstairs to be greeted by the girl who had been downstairs earlier. She said in a somewhat accusing, but also jokingly manner, “Did you go upstairs at Chi-O?” With the quickest response that I think I have ever given, I said “no” and hauled ass for the door and home.

So I think that I have gotten away with it, and I do, for a while. But because girls talk like they do, everyone finds out that I was the one that took down the Curb Check.