Karate Kid - Costanza
Now that I find myself living through my mid-twenties I’ve come to realize certain things that come with getting a little older: the good looking physique I had when I was 17 probably isn’t coming back, hair is starting to grow in places that I always hoped it wouldn’t, and the idea of getting married and having children is becoming an inevitable reality.
As for the physique and funky hair growth, well I don’t think there’s all that much I can do about that. As far as being a husband and a father, now that’s something I think I can be pretty good at. In respects to being a husband, I think I have lived through enough trial and error relationships that I can figure that out, but a father, well that’s something I’ve only began to think about.
Now as a father, it’s going to be my job to help encourage my children and allow them to participate in activities that facilitate their growth. Maybe they’ll be really good at math, want to join a basketball team, or even be into boy scouts. That’s all fine with me, but the one thing my child will never be allowed to do is take karate lessons. Have you ever met anyone cool who took karate lessons? Now I know we all wanted to take karate lessons after seeing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze, but none of us made it passed the third week before quitting. We retired our white belts just as soon as we put them on. Then there was that one guy who participated in karate all the way until he was 18. Just admit it, that guy never had much going for him.
When I was in High School, there was this kid; we’ll call him Karate Kid. What Karate Kid lacked in stature, he made up for in ego. This was the kind of kid who still was hazed in his senior year of high school by guys younger than him. It was so bad that I even think teachers at our school were fairly annoyed by his presence. Personally, I tried my best to not hang around Karate Kid. I always tried to be nice to everyone, but for some reason I just couldn’t force myself to look past how much I couldn’t stand this guy. His normal comebacks always had something to do with how he was a black belt and he was doing us all a favor by not kicking our butts. Now I’m not a fighter by any means, but I was always knew I could take Karate Kid if the situation ever arose.
That day came in gym class my senior year of high school when Karate Kid was spouting off at the mouth about something during gym class. I then took it upon myself to put Karate Kid back in his place with a snide remark. This upset Karate Kid. He flashed his normal “black belt” credentials and got in my face. Normally I would just back down and avoid confrontation, but on this particular day I had, had enough of his unwarranted arrogance and accepted Karate Kid’s challenge.
Now this fight was over before it began. Karate Kid came at me and in a flash. I threw him to the ground and put him into submission. His karate moves were useless. It was not my intent to hurt Karate Kid, but just to teach him a lesson. What I ended up doing was embarrass him. I held him on the ground and emasculated him like a much older brother would do to his littler brother. At one point, I think I even held him down and hung a big loogie over his face only to suck it up right before it fell on him. He squirmed like a fourth grader getting his lunch money taken. Once I let him up he didn’t fight back; he knew that he lost.
Who knows, maybe I was the arrogant one that day. Word is, after that day, Karate Kid had a new outlook on life and really turned the corner. I hear he’s a really likeable guy nowadays. Maybe I did him a favor, but at least I know my kids will never venture down the same road that Karate Kid did.
-Costanza
As for the physique and funky hair growth, well I don’t think there’s all that much I can do about that. As far as being a husband and a father, now that’s something I think I can be pretty good at. In respects to being a husband, I think I have lived through enough trial and error relationships that I can figure that out, but a father, well that’s something I’ve only began to think about.
Now as a father, it’s going to be my job to help encourage my children and allow them to participate in activities that facilitate their growth. Maybe they’ll be really good at math, want to join a basketball team, or even be into boy scouts. That’s all fine with me, but the one thing my child will never be allowed to do is take karate lessons. Have you ever met anyone cool who took karate lessons? Now I know we all wanted to take karate lessons after seeing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze, but none of us made it passed the third week before quitting. We retired our white belts just as soon as we put them on. Then there was that one guy who participated in karate all the way until he was 18. Just admit it, that guy never had much going for him.
When I was in High School, there was this kid; we’ll call him Karate Kid. What Karate Kid lacked in stature, he made up for in ego. This was the kind of kid who still was hazed in his senior year of high school by guys younger than him. It was so bad that I even think teachers at our school were fairly annoyed by his presence. Personally, I tried my best to not hang around Karate Kid. I always tried to be nice to everyone, but for some reason I just couldn’t force myself to look past how much I couldn’t stand this guy. His normal comebacks always had something to do with how he was a black belt and he was doing us all a favor by not kicking our butts. Now I’m not a fighter by any means, but I was always knew I could take Karate Kid if the situation ever arose.
That day came in gym class my senior year of high school when Karate Kid was spouting off at the mouth about something during gym class. I then took it upon myself to put Karate Kid back in his place with a snide remark. This upset Karate Kid. He flashed his normal “black belt” credentials and got in my face. Normally I would just back down and avoid confrontation, but on this particular day I had, had enough of his unwarranted arrogance and accepted Karate Kid’s challenge.
Now this fight was over before it began. Karate Kid came at me and in a flash. I threw him to the ground and put him into submission. His karate moves were useless. It was not my intent to hurt Karate Kid, but just to teach him a lesson. What I ended up doing was embarrass him. I held him on the ground and emasculated him like a much older brother would do to his littler brother. At one point, I think I even held him down and hung a big loogie over his face only to suck it up right before it fell on him. He squirmed like a fourth grader getting his lunch money taken. Once I let him up he didn’t fight back; he knew that he lost.
Who knows, maybe I was the arrogant one that day. Word is, after that day, Karate Kid had a new outlook on life and really turned the corner. I hear he’s a really likeable guy nowadays. Maybe I did him a favor, but at least I know my kids will never venture down the same road that Karate Kid did.
-Costanza
